When the Holidays Go Haywire

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to see my kids this holiday,” Larry told me on one of our video interviews in early November. He had held out hope for several months that one or both of his adult daughters would visit him in San Francisco.

The holidays are a difficult time of year for many Americans. Expectations of a ‘perfect’ holiday clash with reality. Memories of loved ones no longer living ring a melancholy note in otherwise festive moments.

In pandemic 2020, people entered the fall with hopes for some normalcy, including their particular family holiday traditions. As the weeks progressed, people changed plans. In October, 29% of adults 18+ in the US expected to travel to spend time with family and friends this holiday. By early December, that number had declined to 23%.

The journey to this haywire holiday season started back in August …

Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst

Respondents started out with best intentions for the holidays, holding out hope that they would be able to see loved ones. “I’m the crazy aunt,” Gail, 62 in southern Virginia told us. “I take the kids out into the yard and teach them fun dance moves while the adults are inside talking about serious stuff.” She was looking forward to Thanksgiving but knew to take things day by day and not be sad about it.

Barb, 69, a retired minister living in San Antonio, had been looking forward to spending time with her grandkids on Christmas day but is pragmatic about what the holiday season may hold. “It might be hard to get festive in the midst of so much death.”

Francia, 52, Minneapolis, wants to “make the most of it, but it will be sad.” In August, she was questioning if Black Friday would even happen this year. She’s a self-proclaimed Black Friday shopper, loving the crowds and noise accompanying all the shopping bustle.

Curiously, the younger the respondent, the less hopeful and more realistic they were, even early on, about what the holidays might be like.

“It will be so bizarre to have a season without the joy (of the holidays),” Jennifer, 41, proclaimed. A New Yorker, she looks forward to the festive atmosphere in Manhattan – from the lights on the tree and in-store windows to celebratory dinners and parties with friends. This year, she anticipates “gift-giving will be like ‘drop it off, I’ll mail you yours’” rather than in-person gift exchanges.

Jill, 41, a mom of 3 in Grand Rapids, doesn’t understand why people are still gathering for Thanksgiving instead of trying to follow the state’s guidelines.

“It’s going to be very sad this year. Christmas is going to be awkward,” Dajon, 23 told us as plans to travel to visit family on the other side of the country dissolved before they could be cemented.

Marco, 21, Sacramento, had “no clue what to look forward to about the holidays this year. You can live without one year of Thanksgiving or just celebrate it at home.”

Who’s feeling the pinch of this restricted holiday season the most? The same people who are trying to live life as they normally would. By December, 64% said they won’t be able to enjoy the holidays as much this year, compared to 51% in October.

The change in holiday feeling has also sunk in with rural residents, with 51% saying in December they won’t be able to enjoy the holidays, up from 43% in October.

As you might expect, people who indicate they’ve had a serious or severe impact from the pandemic are taking more precautions, as are people who were more likely to adhere to public health safety precautions.

While younger people want to continue with their usual plans (36% for 18 to 34 YOs vs 22% 55+) and travel to spend time with family (29% vs 14%, respectively). Those over 55 feel they will not enjoy the holidays this year, saying it will not be the same (77% for 55+ vs 64% for 18 to 34 YOs) and will not travel to see friends and family (80% vs 57%, respectively).

Overall, 70% of adults 18+ say the holiday season will not be the same.

Who Owns Halloween, Anyway?

CEO Rob Volpe (aka Mr. Peanut) interviewing Navigating to a New Normal participant Jennifer

Like a zombie, Halloween seemed to have a ‘mind’ of its own. “Halloween is out of your control,” is what Kelvin had to say. Living in New England, the weather often dictates how Halloween is going to turn out. He ended up setting up a table with a candy bowl at the end of the drive for any kids that might stop by.

Francia in Minneapolis called it the “saddest Halloween in history.” Her 13-year-old daughter had several plans fall through as her friends and cousins bailed – no one dressed up because there was nowhere to go. Jill in Michigan thinks “it would be stupid to chance getting sick trick or treating, just for some candy.”

“Locally, people are saying, ‘your government doesn’t control your holidays – you do you’,” is how Jennifer, 42, described the mood in her rural South Carolina town. An activity we just heard about this year is “trunk or treat” – where instead of going door to door (often far away on ill-lit streets in rural communities) people have a kid’s version of a tailgate. Trunks or backs of SUVs are tricked out and decorated for Halloween and candy is available for the kids. Both Jennifer and Brittannie, 30 outside Kansas City, told us about Trunk or Treat events that they went to.

And just days after Halloween was over, Christmas decorating began…

Deck The Halls Early And Often

In mid-October, Jennifer, mom of 3 in rural South Carolina told me, “I am so excited for Christmas. I just wanna throw up my Christmas tree right now.”

When we spoke on November 13, she surprised me with a new setting in her house – her first Christmas tree was up (more were to come) and a garland was wrapping the banister.

She loves the spirit of the season every year, having left her decorations and tree up until March 2020 because “I love looking at the garland on the stairs.” This year, she wanted to get a head start on it because “business sucked so bad this year … [now] I get to have some fun.”

Barb in San Antonio is feeling the desire to decorate more than usual to make things feel special. “I want Christmas to be Christmas and be special, but it does feel a little forced.”

A Lot Of Cooking For Not A Lot Of Reward

The lived experience of a pandemic Thanksgiving ranged from good to ‘eh,’ nice to not bad.

People realized how much cooking they actually do on Thanksgiving. And they reconsidered it. Brittannie, 30 in Kansas City, said “[It] didn’t really feel like a holiday. It felt like any other day except I did a lot of cooking.” Brad, 42, in New York City and his husband who was recovering from Covid-19 in November, dialed back their cooking to just Brad’s famous sweet potato pie and a fancy seafood and pasta dish.

Jennifer in South Carolina had a Thanksgiving that was “the same as always” although she’s trying to pare down the menu to control the amount of leftovers. Her Thanksgiving, like many other events in 2020, hasn’t been impacted the way people in more densely populated areas have been.

Since March, people have been cooking more at home. While they find enjoyment out of the togetherness with family and the making of a meal, it does diminish the impact of cooking Thanksgiving dinner, as Kelvin, 55 in New England discovered. “It seemed less special cooking this year because we’ve been doing so much cooking. It’s like the bar has been raised.”

The True Meaning Of The Season

While it remains difficult for people to be living thru this haywire holiday season, some are able to find new appreciation for the purpose of this season. Francia had a profound realization about Thanksgiving.

“This Thanksgiving for me was a Thanksgiving where I was actually giving thanks.” –Francia

“For me, this Thanksgiving, I swear was actually better because Thanksgiving before, you only think about Black Friday, in the newspapers, it’s all about Black Friday, and going to eat. This Thanksgiving for me was a Thanksgiving where I was actually giving thanks, it was a day where I gave thanks to God for everything he has given me and I took the time to thank everyone that I am thankful for, or I sent cards or I sent messages or called them, for me it was more about truly giving thanks this year.”

“I think that it’s changed my mentality of Thanksgiving, I think the next Thanksgivings, apart from thinking about what I used to think about - the race, You have to go to grandmas, you have to run, you have to eat, you have to see the family. I think the next Thanksgivings will really be about being thankful for what I have, and I will take the time to really feel thankful and show that [thankfulness] to others for being part of my life.”

Dajon, 23, appreciated not racing from house to house on Thanksgiving to get in visits with his family as well as his girlfriend’s. His grandmother prefers to see him on Thanksgiving Day but this year he was able to convince her to accept a visit the day before when he’d have more time to spend with her and his grandfather.

And Larry, who’s daughters were unable to visit, ended up at his girlfriend’s house with her parents. He was pleased with how that turned out. “I felt loved and like I belong,” he says of his girlfriend’s parents and family who attended. A typical Thanksgiving for him has involved going to a cousin’s house where “it’s all about his cousin’s family and their traditions.” Begrudging nothing toward his cousin, Larry preferred how this Thanksgiving turned out and is considering his options for Christmas.

Francia summed up the gratitude people experienced this year. “I think this moment changed my next Thanksgivings …This is a year where one has learned to really appreciate things in life more … It’s the pandemic because it hasn’t let you do all the things you want to do. I can’t go to see my friends. So, every little thing that you can’t do, you appreciate more.”

What Does This Mean?

There are two working assumptions to start with:

Presume vaccination will be widespread enough to resume activities with less restrictions by mid-summer
Not everyone will behave similarly with regard to how they will return to ‘normal’ – we are not homogenous as a society.

Here are four considerations as you look toward Holiday 2021 for your business:

1) Strike the Right Tone

This is a holiday of ‘meh’ – people are doing their best but it’s not living up to the usual expectations. And yet people are tapping into this idea of gratitude, the new macro trend showing up in our data. Coming out of the pandemic there will be feelings of relief and joy as well as confusion and fear for some as we further navigate our way to a new normalcy. The old playbooks are out of date. Make sure you understand the role your brand plays with your brand champion in this new world. How can you show appreciation to your consumers and allow them to appreciate you in return?

2) Celebrate Good Times

Like that classic, Kool & the Gang song - from summertime reunions to holiday family gatherings, people will be craving what was denied them in 2020. What can your business to do help facilitate and celebrate this increase in travel, family gatherings, and all-around festiveness? From food to décor to tech that helps create excitement and capture memories. Also expect a return to the halcyon days of Black Friday.

3) Raise the Bar on Home-Cooked Special Dinners

People are becoming more confident cooks and by November 2021 will be ready for new challenges. Holiday dinners, like Thanksgiving, are known for family classics and also trying to impress the family, especially one that’s been kept apart. What can you offer that will be ‘wow-worthy’ and make friends and loved ones realize how much they missed that part of their friend/loved one who created such an awesome dish?

4) The Small Moments Matter More

Gratitude is the new macro-trend present in our data since July. This is showing up in how people are seeking those meaningful moments to connect with one another on a more personal level. As Francia said, to show people you are grateful and appreciate them. Or as Larry experienced, to feel like he belongs. How can your brand or business help foster or participate in those moments? What does that look like in your messaging?